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Parents & Caregivers

“Children cannot stop child abuse.
Adults can.”

Children who are victims of abuse depend on the adults in their lives to pay attention to warning signs and be their voice when they aren’t being heard. As an adult you need to believe children when they tell you something is wrong and respond accordingly.

Have the Conversation

When talking to a child about abuse, take care to protect them and honor the courage it takes to disclose. Here are a few guidelines that may help:

  • Allow the child to tell his or her story in their own way, avoiding leading questions
  • Be objective and non-judgmental in reaction to what the child is saying; most children know their abusers and often have confusing feelings
  • Assure the child that what happened was not their fault
  • Let the child know you will be talking with other people whose jobs are to help keep children safe (avoid making promises)
  • Use the child’s words when reporting to the Department of Children & Families (DCF) and/or the police
  • Do not investigate yourself—contact DCF or the police immediately
  • Tell the child you are glad they told someone and let them know you will be available if they want to talk again

Explore our Kids & Teens section for specific language on talking to your child depending on their particular age.

  • Communication is a Skill to Practice

    The more you communicate calmly and regularly in your day-to-day interactions, the easier it will be to communicate with your child when there are tougher conversations to have. Show them you are a safe place to bring their concerns and worries.

  • Find a Comfortable Spot

    Location can play a big role when having a vulnerable conversation. Find one-on-one private opportunities in your daily routine that your child feels safe and relaxed, such as bedtime or in the car, to offer them opportunities to open up.

  • Be Aware of What They’re Not Saying

    Practice active listening and take note of your child’s body language when you ask certain questions or talk about certain people. Remain calm no matter what your child shares and don’t rush them to tell you more than they’re ready to.

  • Talk About Next Steps

    If your child shares concerning information about experiencing or witnessing abuse, be prepared to respond appropriately. Be honest with them about what needs to happen next to make sure the abuse doesn’t continue.

How to Protect Your Child

The number one way to avoid abuse or exploitation is to establish open, non-judgemental communication with your child. A child that is knowledgeable about their body, the concept of consent, and prioritizes safety over obedience, is more likely to communicate when something strange, uncomfortable, or concerning happens in their life.

Here are a few tips for cultivating open communication with your child.

Keeping Kids Safe Online

The internet is a valuable tool, but it also comes with risks. Here are key online safety concerns every parent and caregiver should be aware of:

  • Inappropriate content: Material that may be harmful to children, including pornography, excessive violence, and hate speech.
  • Online privacy: Protecting children’s personal information, such as passwords, phone numbers, and locations, from being shared online.
  • Online enticement: When an individual communicates with a child online with the intent to commit a sexual offense or abduction.
  • Sexting: Sending or receiving nude or partially nude images, often via mobile devices.
  • Sextortion: When a child is threatened or blackmailed by someone demanding additional sexual content, sexual activity, or money.
  • Cyberbullying: The use of the internet or mobile technology to harass, intimidate, or bully another person.

By staying informed and involved in your child’s online activities, you can help create a safer digital experience. 

Online Safety Resources

Smart or Scary? Take some time to understand the risks of smartphones and implement safeguards to help your child use them safely.
Parents’ Guide to Smartphone Safety

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children offers a tool to help remove children’s sexually explicit images from the internet.
Take It Down

Encourage children to think about the consequences of taking, sending, or forward a sexual picture of themselves or someone else.
Think Before You Send

Browser Safety

Your “web browser history” leaves behind a trail of information.

Did you know that by looking at the “browser history” of a computer it is possible to tell what websites have recently been visited? Sometimes, a computer will store this information for several months or more. If you are in an abusive relationship, your abuser may be monitoring what websites you have been looking at which can put your safety at risk.

  • Clearing your browser history using Google Chrome

    Method 1

    1. Open Google Chrome. Click the three-dot menu icon found in the top-right corner of the browser window and click “Delete Browsing Data.”
    2. In the “Delete Browsing Data” window, you can delete all of your browsing history by selecting “All Time,” or choose a specific time (Last Hour, Last 24 Hours, etc.), and click “Delete Data” to complete the action. Pro tip: you can also clear additional private data from Google Chrome settings, such as download history, cookies, and browser cache.


    Method 2 (fewer steps)

    1. Open Google Chrome, and hold down the buttons CONTROL (ctrl), SHIFT, and DELETE (Windows PC) or COMMAND, SHIFT, and DELETE (Mac) at the same time.
    2. A window labeled “delete browsing history” will open. If you think this may create a red flag for your abuser, you can select one of the following options: ‘last hour’, ‘last two hours’, ‘last 4 hours’, or ‘today’ to delete the browser history for the selected time period only. Make sure that whichever option you chose will remove all of the browsing history that you do not want visible.
    3. Select all boxes that apply and hit the “delete” button at the bottom.

  • Clearing your browser history using Mozilla Firefox

    Method 1

    1. Open Mozilla Firefox. If your menu bar is enabled, you will see a “history” option at the top of the screen. If not, click on the orange “Firefox” tab in the upper left corner of the screen and then select “history” in the dropdown menu.
    2. Next, select “clear recent history”.
    3. In the new menu that opens, make sure all boxes are checked. You will also see options for “time range to clear”. You can select “everything” if you want to clear ALL browser history. HOWEVER, if you think this may create a red flag for your abuser, you can select one of the following options: ‘last hour’, ‘last two hours’, ‘last 4 hours’, or ‘today’ to delete the browser history for the selected time period only. Make sure that whichever option you chose will remove all of the browsing history that you do not want visible.
    4. When you have decided which time range you want to clear, hit the CLEAR NOW button.

    Method 2

    1. Open Mozilla browser, and hold down the buttons CONTROL (ctrl), SHIFT, and DELETE (Windows PC) or COMMAND, SHIFT, and DELETE (Mac) at the same time.
    2. In the new menu that opens, make sure all boxes are checked. You will also see an option “time range to clear”. You can select “everything” if you want to clear ALL browser history. If you think this may create a red flag for your abuser, you can select one of the following options: ‘last hour’, ‘last two hours’, ‘last 4 hours’, or ‘today’ to delete the browser history for the selected time period only. Make sure that whichever option you chose will remove all of the browsing history that you do not want visible.
    3. When you have decided which time range you want to clear, hit the CLEAR NOW button.

  • Clearing your browser history using Microsoft Edge

    Method 1

    1. Open the Microsoft Edge browser. You should see a menu bar across the top, and “tools” should be one of the menu options. (If it isn’t, this simply means that your ‘menu toolbar’ is disabled. You can enable it by right-clicking in the blank space at the top of the page in the header, and placing a check mark next to the option “menu bar”.)
    2. After you have selected “tools”, select “delete browsing history”. When that new window opens, select all boxes that apply and hit the “delete” button at the bottom. Tip: Selecting “history”, “download history”, and “form data” are important, because these options will clear your searches, any records kept by the computer of downloads made, and also browser history/websites visited.

    Method 2 (fewer steps)

    1. Open Microsoft Edge, and hold down the buttons CONTROL (ctrl), SHIFT, and DELETE (Windows PC) or press COMMAND, SHIFT, and DELETE (Mac) at the same time.
    2. A window labeled “delete browsing history” will open. If you think this may create a red flag for your abuser, you can select one of the following options: ‘last hour’, ‘last two hours’, ‘last 4 hours’, or ‘today’ to delete the browser history for the selected time period only. Make sure that whichever option you chose will remove all of the browsing history that you do not want visible.
    3. Select all boxes that apply and hit the “delete” button at the bottom.

Clearing Your Browser History

All website browsers record a list of web pages you have visited. Review our step-by-step instructions on how to clear your browser history in Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, and Microsoft Edge. This will help keep your internet browsing private. Please be aware that if your abuser is monitoring your website use, suddenly clearing all the history may be a ‘red flag.’

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Password Safety

Whether you live with or apart from your abuser, change your passwords and passcodes. The easiest way for an abuser to collect information about you is by simply logging in to your accounts via your cell phone, iPad, or computer. Abusers can use knowledge of your passwords to financially, socially, and professionally harass and sabotage you.

Here are some important password safety tips:

  • Change your password often.
  • Do not write your passwords down somewhere where your abuser can find them.
  • Passwords should contain letters, numbers, and punctuation. Make it complicated!
  • Never use familiar things as your password. Birth dates, favorite colors, names of pets.
  • Make all of your passwords different. If all of your passwords are the same, then access to one account means access to all accounts.
  • Beware security questions. Choose unusual questions and pick an answer to them that nobody would know. Better yet—writing your own security question is sometimes an option.

Social Media Safety

Social media platforms, such as TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and X/Twitter, are often times places of refuge and community for vitcims of abuse who may feel isolated in their day-to-day life. Staying connected to friends, family, and resources online can be beneficial, but there are also drawbacks to having a public presence online.

Unfortunately, many abusers misuse social networking for harassment, stalking, or surveilance. Blocking a follower or creating a new account may stop the harassment for a time, but likely won’t be a long term solution.

Keep your social media private with these tips:

  • On whichever social platform you use, explore the privacy settings for your account(s) and select the highest settings
  • Consider removing any personal information from your bios, profiles, or images
  • Try to diversify your accounts so they’re not easily connected by using different usernames, profile pictures, or bios
  • Take careful note of location tagging or tagging local businesses
  • Check your user settings to see who has permission to tag you in posts, stories, or videos

“I suspect that my abuser is monitoring me. He/she/they know things that they shouldn’t. Am I going crazy?”

You’re not going crazy. If your abuser knows information that he/she/they shouldn’t, there is a good possibility that they are using technology to monitor you.

Take immediate steps to change your passwords and cellphone passcode as soon as you’re able. Double check your privacy settings on your social accounts and check communal devices to make sure you’re logged out of all accounts. If a website or internet browser asks “do you want to remember this password?” always select “NO,” and be sure to log out of email and Facebook accounts when you are finished.

If you feel like you’re being monitored, always trust your instincts. Nowadays, there are numerous ways that abusers can monitor you with hidden or stealth technology. You can never been too cautious when it comes to online/internet safety, but you are also not alone. Tell someone you trust if you think you’re being monitored.

Resources

Berkshire County Kids’ Place provides support, services, and resources to children, adolescents, and non-offending family members who are victims of traumatic events, including sexual abuse, physical abuse, domestic violence/intimate partner violence, commercial sexual exploitation of children, and community violence.

Explore our library of external and downloadable resources for different types of abuse and how you can help:

  • Mandated Reporter’s Guide

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Scroll for more links ⇕

Frequently Asked Questions

  • What resources are available?

    Kids’ Place offers non-emergent, long-term, organized medical and therapeutic care, along with legal and law enforcement support. This inclusive, tandem approach to healing is called the Multidisciplinary Approach.

  • What to expect with a referral

    By submitting a self-referral or receiving a referral from another department, you will be contacted by the Kids’ Place team to discuss next steps to meet with the Multidisciplinary Team.

  • How do I make a referral?

    You can make a self-referral by filling out our contact form here. Or report abuse directly to the Department of Children & Families (DCF) at 413-236-1800, or after hours at 800-792-5200.

  • What are the expected outcomes of reporting abuse?

    The Department of Children & Families (DCF) makes decisions regarding the action needed to be taken to ensure the child’s safety and well-being. DCF also refers all cases of sexual abuse and serious physical abuse to the District Attorney’s Office. This action triggers the Berkshire District Attorney’s Sexual Assault Intervention Network (SAIN) Team response, part of the Multidisciplinary Approach. Learn more about the Multidisciplinary Approach.

  • How many people have been served at BCKP?

  • What is the process for getting services?

    After a referral is submitted or received, the Multidisciplinary Team (MDT) gathers in one place to share information and provide a roadmap of support for child victims/witnesses. These MDT professionals––typically including Kids’ Pace staff, Department of Children & Families (DCF), local law enforcement, mental health professionals, medical experts, and the District Attorney’s Office––work together to help victims and families heal and hold offenders accountable.

  • What is the intake process?

    The Multidisciplinary Team (MDT) works in tandem to investigate cases of child abuse or neglect and discuss each unique case from all angles to decide on the best approach for care. The MDT provides wraparound services including a forensic interview process that eliminates the need for a child victim/witness to repeat their story multiple times and avoid reliving the traumatic event(s).

  • What are the hours of operation?

    Berkshire County Kids’ Place is open Monday through Friday, 9am–5pm.

  • Where are you located?

    Berkshire County Kids’ Place is located at 63 Wendell Avenue, Pittsfield, MA 01201.

  • What is a CAC and what does it do?

    CAC stands for Children’s Advocacy Center. CAC’s provide a safe atmosphere for child abuse victims and support children throughout the healing process.

  • What is the multidisciplinary approach?

    The Multidisciplinary Approach gathers all necessary professionals in one place to gather information and provide a roadmap of support for child victims/witnesses.

    These professionals––typically including Kids’ Pace staff, Department of Children & Families (DCF), local law enforcement, mental health professionals, medical experts, and the District Attorney’s Office––work together to help victims and families heal and hold offenders accountable.

  • How do I report neglect/abuse?

    • Call the Department of Children & Families (DCF) at 413-236-1800, or after hours at 800-792-5200, to report abuse. You will be asked a series of questions and asked to file a written report within 48 hours. Your name can be kept confidential upon request.
    • Berkshire County Kids’ Place is open Monday through Friday, 9am–5pm. Contact our team at 413-236-1800, email us at info@kidsplaceonline.org, or fill out the contact form.
    • For support on nights, weekends, or holidays, call the Child At Risk Hotline at 1-800-792-5200. For more information about reporting abuse or neglect explore the Office of Health and Human Services website.

  • What is TF-CBT?

    TF-CBT stands for Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is a short-term therapeutic process that enhances trauma recovery.

  • What ages do we provide services to?

    As a Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC), we serve children under the age of 18. For parents of child victims under five years old, we offer Family Advocacy support. For victims of child abuse who are 18 and older, we work with the Elizabeth Freeman Center to determine which organization will be the most helpful. For adult support, we refer victims to the Elizabeth Freeman Center.

  • What is problematic sexual behavior?

    Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB) is offered when a child is displaying inappropriate language or actions toward other children.

  • What services do we offer for PSB?

    Children experiencing Problematic Sexual Behavior (PBS) between the ages of seven and 14 are offered Problematic Sexual Behavior Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (PBS-CBT).

  • What is considered a traumatic event?

    Children victims or witnesses may experience traumatic events such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, domestic violence/intimate partner violence, commercial sexual exploitation of children, or community violence.

  • What do I do if my child makes a disclosure of abuse?

    Whenever you have reasonable cause to believe a child under the age of 18 has been abused or neglected, a report should be submitted. Reasonable cause means a reasonable suspicion. Absolute certainty or physical proof is not required. Abuse and neglect should be reported regardless of whether you believe the perpetrator is a caretaker or not.

  • What is a forensic interview?

    A forensic interview is an integral part of the Multidisciplinary Approach. Forensic interviews are performed once and eliminate the need for a child victim/witness to repeat their story multiple times and avoid reliving the traumatic event(s).

  • What is Pedi-SANE?

    Pedi-SANE translates to Pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. Pedi-SANE services provide victims with a thorough medical examination in a safe, quiet, comfortable atmosphere.

    A Pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner is in attendance at the forensic interview and schedule exams when necessary.

  • What is CSEC?

    Children Exposed to Domestic Violence (CESV) counseling is a therapeutic service focused on helping child victims or witnesses heal from domestic violence.

    Parents of Kids’ Place clients can also receive family advocacy support. Adult domestic violence counseling is offered through the Elizabeth Freeman Center.

  • Who do I call if I suspect my child is involved in CSEC?

    If you suspect your child is a victim of Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children (CSEC), contact the Department of Children & Families (DCF) at 413-236-1800, or after hours at 800-792-5200. If the child is in immediate danger, call 911.

    If you have reasonable cause to believe that a child under 18 has been abused or neglected, a report should be made to DCF. Reasonable cause means a reasonable suspicion—absolute certainty or physical proof is not required. Abuse and neglect should always be reported, regardless of whether the suspected perpetrator is a caretaker, friend, or stranger.

  • Do the services cost money?

    At Berkshire County Kids’ Place all services are FREE regardless of access to health insurance or a family’s ability to pay.

  • How to contact DCF

    Contact the Department of Children & Families (DCF) at 413-236-1800, or after hours at 800-792-5200.